I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
