Apparently you make a good broom.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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