youre lurking in front of me
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
