Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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