You're completely useless in the revolution.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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