this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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