New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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