Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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