help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Randomize
