i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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