He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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