she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
