Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
