'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
