And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
