There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
She even gives head with a lisp.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
