Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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