forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
false alarm. still invincible.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
