I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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