Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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