i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
