He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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