It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Randomize
