Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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