they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
