I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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