is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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