I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize