Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
