Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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