just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize