No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
