I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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