How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
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