I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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