Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
