He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I got inside last night via doggy door
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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