and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
