Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
