Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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