I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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