Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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