One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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