Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
