you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
