You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
did i walk over a car last night?
It's never too late to be topless.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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