Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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