Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
