hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize