Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
