UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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