I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize