were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Randomize
