Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
