You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
