I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
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