tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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