Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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