you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
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