why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
